I stopped asking my wife for sex. The fighting stopped. She was happy. But I was dying inside.

I'm 37 and my wife is 35. We've been married for 7 years, and we have two kids.

For the first few years our sex life was amazing. Not just the physical part but the connection.

Then about 2 years ago it slowed down... a lot.

And my wife wasn't interested in sex for a long time.

Sometimes we've gone two or even three months without sex.

I was always initiating first, and I honestly couldn't remember the last time she initiated something.

And there was almost always a reason not to:

She's tired, sleepy, sore, on her period, it's too late, or she's just not in the mood.

We've talked about it many times over the years.

And I've asked her if there's something I'm doing wrong, if she's no longer attracted to me, if there's something she'd like me to change, or if she's unhappy with our sex life.

But her answer was always the same.

Everything is fine, and I'm not the problem.

And that left me even more confused.

If nothing is wrong, why does she almost never want it?

It felt like we were basically roommates who co-parent.

And she was content not having sex while I got angrier and more frustrated inside myself.

And I wasn't willing to admit this...

But the nights she does get intimate with me... I would feel more shit.

She would sometimes say something like "I'm only doing this because I know you need it and I don't want you crabby."

And it just really felt like she was going through the motions for my sake and it was like a chore for her.

It became increasingly uncomfortable for me to ask, she got more annoyed every time I did and I was also just tired and done from getting rejected over and over.

This isn't about me seeking validation (although that did lurk in the background because constant rejection is quite painful), but more about the need to make love, to share intimate moments with the person I love.

So at one point I stopped asking... the fighting stopped and she was happy but deep down I was dying inside.

And even though I wanted to ask my friends around me for advice, I just couldn't say it out loud because of the embarrassment, and I do admit it was also an ego thing.

Like think about what you'd have to say. Out loud. To another man.

My wife doesn't want to sleep with me.

As a man let's be real, that sounds pathetic.

So you don't say it. You sit at a table with guys you've known for fifteen years, someone makes the standard joke about their wife never being in the mood, everyone laughs and you laugh too, and you're the only one at that table for whom it isn't a joke.

So you want to know where I actually said it?

My phone.

Two in the morning, everyone asleep, typing it into a search bar.

Because a search bar can't look at you.

That's how I found out there are hundreds of thousands of us going through the same thing I was. All typing it at one in the morning. All on accounts with no name attached.

But when you finally put it somewhere. Anywhere. Whether that's any of those threads, that one friend you actually told, any professional you pay.

You get the same three answers. Every single time

Word for word, from people who genuinely mean well.

And here's what I need you to hear, because it's the only reason I'm writing all this, instead of just going about with my life.

I know!

I do the chores. I do the shopping, the bills, the school run, the trash. I know she gets exhausted at times, I'm not an idiot. I live in this house, I can see her.

I tried date nights, I tried talking about it with her, I tried helping more around the house.

All of it.

And we even went to the counseling "everyone recommended", where a professional told me the same three things in a nicer voice, for six sessions, at ninety dollars an hour. Six weeks of gently working around to the idea that if I were a bit kinder she'll get in the mood" lines which is rubbish for our situation.

Like none of it is wrong but that's what makes it unbearable. It's all broadly correct, but it has never once changed a Tuesday night.

Because I wasn't missing a diagnosis. I've had the diagnosis for the past years. Like I could transform into Mr therapist and tell you myself.

But what I didn't have is anything that changes what actually happens at 9:40pm.

So eventually I stopped asking the internet too. I closed the tab and decided this was just the shape of my life now, and that the mature thing was to stop making my wife feel bad about something she couldn't help and wasn't full on willing to change.

That's where I sat for about a few months.

Not sad, exactly. Even though I was. Just done.

But one late night an ad came up on my phone during my scroll.

It was a married woman around my age talking about a peach gummy for couples that boosts your desire and turns you on.

My honest first reaction was that it was a scam.

I'd already read that the chocolate one everyone's seen does nothing at all. I'd been circling this category long enough to assume it's just a gummy and it can't be anything special.

But then I saw the reviews and it was filled with men who went through the exact same shit I was going through at the time, and how it had changed their sex life.

Those men sounded exactly like me, it was crazy how relatable it was.

I didn't buy it that night. I didn't buy it that week.

But the thought of just having the same outcome these men were getting with these gummies just lingered in my thoughts constantly.

It wasn't that I believed it. I didn't.

It was that I did the math.

Trying it costs one evening and less than a dinner out.

Not trying it costs another year or maybe even more, and I knew exactly what a year of this looked like, because I've lived through it.

And what convinced me even more was seeing they do 30 days money back.

Because that changed what I was actually risking. The worst case wasn't losing the money. The worst case was thar nothing happens, I ask for the refund, and I end up exactly where I already was.

So I bought it.

Don't get me wrong, at the time I felt ridiculous buying it. Sat there with it in the cart feeling like an idiot. But I realised the more embarrassing thing was the years I have been putting up with.

Here's what actually happened.

It turned up about a week later after buying.

And here's the part I genuinely didn't expect. She was happy to try them.

I think because it wasn't a pill. It wasn't some prescription thing off a doctor with a list of side effects, and it wasn't me handing her something to fix her with. It was a gummy. Peach flavoured. It looked like candy.

And it wasn't that she takes one and I sit there watching to see if it worked on her.

We both take one. Same time. Same thing.

Which meant that for the first time in our sexual rut, the night didn't open with me asking her for something.

No request. Nothing aimed at her. Nobody being fixed. Just a fun thing to try.

I hadn't realized how much I needed that until it wasn't there.

So after both taking one of those gummies. We didn't feel much at first instance but then a few minutes passed and we started to feel the heat and even myself I was feeling hotter inside and I know that she was feeling it too, at the same time, which is its own strange kind of relief.

But overall the first night of trying it. It was fine. Genuinely fine.

Warm, funny, she called me an idiot, we had a nice night. It was not fireworks. But I remember lying there afterward thinking: okay this is progress.

But I will be honest I was expecting her to be all over me like how the other guys experienced. But I understand that everyone's bodies respond differently.

Anyways the second time we tried these was the weekend in that same week.

But this time was the difference maker.

We both started feeling the tension again from the warmth in our body after taking the gummies. But this time we felt it even more compared to the first night, and I just wanted to put myself on her but I resisted and held back and for the first time in months...

guess what?

She initiated first. Before me. No asking. No clear hinting.

I honestly hadn't had that in so long. I'd stopped believing it was on the menu and I can't even put into words how I was feeling at the time but you could imagine haha.

And afterward lying there, for the first time in longer than I want to put in writing. I wasn't wondering whether she'd enjoyed it.

I knew.

After that one night, the nights that followed till this day are history, and around a few boxes of taking these gummies. We no longer need them to rely on for her to initiate intimacy with me.

It just happens now, just like the early days.

And I'm not going to tell you a gummy fixed my marriage.

Because It didn't.

Nothing in a box does that.

What it did do though was break the pattern for one night. And one night was enough to show me the pattern was a pattern, not a fact about me.

I genuinely feel bad for the guys still going through this, and I want to help every guy that is, which is why I am writing this.

Mostly because I know exactly what's about to happen to him.

Somebody's going to tell him to do more around the house.

Somebody's going to tell him she's exhausted.

Somebody's going to suggest counseling.

And he's going to nod, and do all three, and wait another year.

Just like I did.

If that's you, just give these a try because at the cost of one dinner out, you are saving yourself from another year or even more of going through what I did and if you're already going through it, I'm sure you know how it feels.

And if nothing happens for the two of you, you've got nothing to worry about because they do a 30 day money back guarantee.

So the only thing you're actually risking here is one evening.

Anyways, that was my full transparent story on my experience with Spicy Cubes. I'm wishing you all the best, and hope this helped!